Listening To God's Voice
By Laura Wells
Synopsis: A horrible time can lead you to better listening.
"Listen to God’s voice…not my voice, Satan’s voice or someone else’s voice." That’s what a good Christian friend of mine told me when I was going through this horrible time with my job and a very difficult, critical, manipulative, bullying boss. For over a year, I had to endure a difficult time that I wish no one would ever have to deal with. I went through months of torment which there seemed to be no hope. No amount of human strength was enough to effectively deal with the situation. The situation, at times, was unbearable and impossible. But, by the Glory of God – HE gave me the strength to endure it and rise above the situation. I am constantly humbled by the grace of God!
I have dealt with physical suffering. I’ve learned how to deal that type of suffering – but this was a difficult type of suffering. This was a mental war – a war where I had to keep my sanity and my confidence in my abilities. This woman was out to damage my self-confidence, her motivation was pride, her motivation was proving she was the boss and to prove she was right. She was a bully. She had a temper and would yell at me in meetings. She thought I’d be an easy target – my guess - because of my physical problems I deal with every day. The boss was manipulative, untrusting, loud, embarrassing, harassing, critical, never pleased, never positive, threatening and would psycho-analyze me. The more my bible study talked about overcoming Satan and descriptions of Satan – the more it sounded like my boss. I had to not listen to Satan’s destructive voice… I couldn’t listen to my voice – I had to focus on God’s voice. Only God’s voice is pure and uplifting.
During that difficult time, I had to repeatedly remind myself that God is working in my life and no matter what happened with my job –things would work out for the glory of God. Would I still have a job? Would I still be working there? Or would God end the pain, stress and lead me to a more fulfilling situation? I had to remind myself that it is all about God…not about me. My husband kept telling me maybe I was just a pawn in this whole situation…that the bad situation wasn’t about me…that it was all about God. I had to allow God to utilize me and I had to fully trust in Him.
What did I learn? I learned to depend on God every day, pray everyday and whatever the circumstance that day – that God would provide what I needed to deal with anything. I look back now and I know there is no way I could have survived without my faith and trust in God.
Why does God allow things like this to happen? Why does God put us in places at certain times? Over time, we sometimes come to understand the purpose. At the time we are going through pain, we may not understand. We have to rely on courage and faith to get us through.
How did I get through the pain? By the Grace of God, I noticed that I was surrounded by people who were supportive. I can’t count the number of faith warriors I had praying for me. My husband, my family, the ladies at Tuesday night bible study at church, friends I either worked with or knew and the folks my husband and I camp with. All of these folks told me they were praying for me and gave me encouragement on the darkest days.
Although at first, I tried to keep it quiet. The more people I trusted to share the situation with– the more I realized that folks had dealt with a similar situation that I was trying to endure. Some people’s situation worked out where they were employed and some folks moved on and found better jobs. I gained a great deal of encouragement and of advice from good people.
I stayed in the Word. I joined a bible study at church and made myself go when I didn’t want to go. I didn’t allow the stress of the day to distract me from God’s word and being around fellow believers. It gave me perspective of what was truly important in life. I also carried a little prayer book with verses around with me at all times. Another friend of mine loaned this prayer book to me because she had gone through a similar work situation. Whenever I felt my voice taking over or Satan’s doubt coming over me – I’d pick up that book and remind myself to focus on God.
With a bright future ahead of me, I sit here with the hope of finding a new job in an environment of encouragement and good professionalism. God moved me out of that horrible situation and I have to believe that things will be better. Thing are already better – in only two weeks. No more stress like I had to endure. I find myself singing to myself and humming songs. I have to believe that I did everything possible to resolve the situation. I learned a great deal about myself, the power of the Holy Spirit and trusting God. I have to believe God is smiling in heaven because I tried to act the way He would want me to act in this situation. I endured. Even my boss, at the time, told me I had lasted much longer and had dealt with the situation much longer than even she would have. I gave it my all…and who knows…maybe one day my ex-boss will realize the power of the Holy Spirit and come to accept Christ as her savior herself.
I know that God has a plan. I prayed that God would give me the opportunity to do something for Him and to help His people (the way that His people have helped me). Recently, opportunities have opened up for me to help others and I’m excited about the possibilities and where those will lead. I would not have survived the past several months without the support system of good Christian people. I pray that God’s will be done – I see now that he was trying to teach me so many things during the past several months. I learned the Peace you can feel when you trust in Him. God has a plan and it is good!
One thing I will never forget is this. Whether in the hustle and bustle of work life or in the still of the quiet –
I’ll be listening for His voice…
Copyright © November 5, 2005 – Laura Wells. All rights reserved.
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