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About the Writer:
Cindy Amelung

With a warm heart and a joyful spirit, Cindy reveals Godly principles and heavenly purposes for the circumstances of life. Her honesty before the Lord and in her writings help her readers connect, learn, grow and develop a contagious hope that God will bring good things from astounding situations.




By Cindy Amelung

I am currently grieving – have been for a month now. On January 7, 2006 , I had to let go my beloved companion of 10+ years. I’m talking about my cat, Wakefield . It was agonizing from start to finish. It all began with his annual check up in October when blood work revealed a problem with his kidneys. He had to be monitored and his diet changed. He responded well to the medicine and changes initially, but, well…long story short, in the end these measures didn’t work. The vet was wonderful; she offered all kinds of solutions but the end result was, I was goingto lose him – it was just a matter of when and the decision of ‘when’ was up to me.

We made it through the holidays and he seemed to be doing well. Right after the new year it became obvious the time was short. On Thursday, January 5 th, I finally made the phone call that would seal his fate and my grief began in earnest. I couldn’t seem to stop crying and standing up straight was actually impossible. This fleabag had been my companion for over ten years; when my marriage broke up, we started over together. He was the youngest in the pecking order during the marriage having a dog and two older cats to boss him around. He adjusted to being an only cat almost instantaneously.

Yes, being lord of the manor suited him just fine and might I add, he was an excellent human trainer. I was incredibly well trained and it has only been since his death that I discovered the depth of my training. I’ve had 15 extra minutes every morning after I get ready for work. I’ve overslept four times in the last month; I knew he could count to three because when I would hit that snooze button the third time, his focused assault would begin. He made sure I got up on time – after all, breakfast was supposed to be served at 5 a.m. – his human couldn’t stay in the bed all day because he might waste away to nothing! Because of Wakefield , I now know I have noisy eyelids. I didn’t set the alarm on Saturdays and when he heard my eyelids open, there was no rest for him (or me) until I got breakfast in the bowl. Like I said, he was an excellent human trainer.

The last evening together was particularly agonizing. I held him all evening and just cried. I told him how much I loved him, what a good cat he had been and how sorry I was that I couldn’t make his kidneys work and give him another ten years to be the boss of me. I couldn’t imagine my life without his little fur face around – I wasn’t prepared to let go of him.

Saturday came and with it, almost paralyzing grief. I took him to the vet and came home without him. On life’s list of awful experiences, this ranked pretty near the top for me and it is one I don’t wish to repeat any time soon.

A funny thing happened, though; as I walked around my now empty home, God began to develop an idea in me. I knew He understood my grief and I was comforted. What God showed me was this - a new way of seeing His unconditional love.

I’ve seen the movie, ‘The Passion of the Christ’ and like countless others, the sacrifice of Jesus is now more real and personal. What I hadn’t considered was how the Father felt in those last hours with His Son. As I sat holding Wakefield that last night and agonized over his impending death and my loss, for the first time, I wondered what the Father went through. He had known from before the foundation of the world that the sacrifice of His Son would be required, but what was it like to actually live out that reality? I was only letting go of a cat – He was going to deliberately let go of His only Son.

We only know some of the conversation in the Garden of Gethsemane that final night. What was it like for the Father to listen to the agonized prayer of His Son? To listen to His Son struggle with the enormity of what He was about to face and yet finally say, ‘not my will but Yours be done’? What did they say to each other in those final hours that is not recorded in Scripture? Could they even speak – if earthly grief can leave a person incapable of speech, what about this grief? A Holy Father, loving and yet just; the price for sin that had to be paid. Watching His Son sweat drops of blood in His own emotional agony and yet unwilling to stop the sacrifice so we could have eternal life. What was that moment like when He had to turn His back on His Son so the debt could be paid? We only know the story from the eyewitness accounts in scripture; what did it look like from the Father’s viewpoint?

As I pondered these thoughts, I was struck afresh with grief over my own sin and overwhelmed with God’s sacrificial love for me. I know how much I loved Wakefield and that love is a mere speck, a shadow, of God’s love for me. Each time I find a little bit of fur now I can smile and am even comforted in my grief because of Him who first loved me, died for me and rose again so I can have eternal life. Who knew you could learn so much from a cat?

Copyright © February 11, 2006 – Cindy Amelung. All rights reserved.


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